I wish I could wear my doc martens to work every day.
but I don’t think I’d be able to create a believable “business casual” ensemble. 

so earlier this month was my twenty-fourth birthday
I thought by turning twenty-four I would feel incredibly old
but nothing changed, I still feel the same, and I still frequently get asked when I’ll be finishing high school.

but then on the twelfth of May my cousin turned thirteen. he is now a glorified teenager..
and I’ve thought for the last 3 years now that he was 9 years old (don’t question it, thats just how it played out in my brain)
and now finding out that he’s now thirteen, now I feel so god damn old..

ooooooh life…

I am going to New York City tomorrow.

woohoo!

I think tomorrow I’ll make that phone call that I’ve been meaning to make.
A call that I’ve managed to let slip my mind for over a year now.
A call to finally make an appointment with the dentist to have this cavity filled.
It still doesn’t hurt me much, but I certainly don’t want it to get to that point either.

Just another example of my extreme procrastination skills and what its like to live life with swiss cheese for a brain. I’m really only leaving this here because there is an 85% chance that my nothingness of a day off will get in the way and cause me to once again allow this thought to slip away.

I need to just take a second to vent about how incredibly pissed off, frustrated, stressed, sad, and etc. I am feeling towards work these past couple of weeks.
My disclaimer first is that I absolutely adore my job and my position as the mens department supervisor and I wouldn’t trade it for anyone elses position, but I have just been stressing out to the max the last few freight days that we have had, each shipment I’m optimistic that I won’t have as tough of a time putting out new merchandise like I had during the last truck prior, but each truck day I seem to fail miserably and only push out like 10% of my product which I am unable to touch the other 90% until the next weeks truck day which when that day comes my manager is on my case every 15 minutes and driving my towards the brink of insanity.
I hate how I typically only get one, sometimes TWO co-workers to help me push my freight, which the main girl I always get is super flakey and calls out every other shift so most days it’s just me myself and I where as my counter part in the Mrs. department has help from two of our co-workers as well as our direct manager. It pisses me off that the entire store favors the Mrs. department and that I am left to spend my truck days recovering my department, which is half of the entire store, when I should only be focusing my energy on new merchandise. The company refers to our customers as “she” or “her”, because women shop here more than men, but I don’t understand how that makes it okay to completely neglect mens and leave all the shit on the ground and the fitting rooms full when I have two days off in a row.. I shouldn’t have been hounded like I was today during the truck since I was returning to work after two days off in a row and my department looked like seventeen tornados bombed through it knocking all of the product onto the floor. Its frustrating for me to have to spend hours cleaning and re-merchandising entire sections and not being able to focus on putting out all the new product which some of it I am sure is advertised in that weeks ad and people drive all the way to the store for that one super steal of a swimsuit or something and I have to tell them I have no idea if its in or not and send them off to another one of our stores in the area which not only hurts my store but effects my upcoming review/raise in the coming months. ughhhhhhh I could just kick and scream and tear all my hair out.. I’m just hoping the new store manager, being a guy and all, cares a little more than the other two managers that we have.. I know I don’t actually suck, I just hate that these last several truck days I have to tell my direct manager that I did not end up putting out all 10 rails of freight but instead I could only manage two during my entire 7 hours.. It doesnt feel good reporting back with those facts because they don’t ask you for a play by play of your day, they merely roll their eyes and nicely bitch at you about how it is unacceptable and ugh its just so exhausting to have that play out twice a week for the past 3 weeks.

oh hello macbook, truthfully I forgot I owned you.

I’m so sick of being sick.